Not a mom, guys.
Everyone knows I have this Queen Latifah character growing inside of me like a fetus at all times. I don’t really now why, but I imagine one day that I will birth this Queen Latifah character and raise it as my own.
(If you didn’t really understand that due to the disgusting-ness of it all, it’s a metaphor, as is the good majority of the rest of this post.)
The Queen Latifah character has been kicking to get out. I find myself making Z-formations when I snap my fingers and my neck rolling in such a way that I cannot control.